How Queen has helped me in my life

I try to be pretty open about things in my blog, all while keeping some privacy as well. This post kinda goes together with my last post in a sense, and it's something that has been a bit difficult to talk about, but here goes.

For those who don't know me or haven't read my blog for all that long, I used to be married. In the autumn of 2010 my husband and I separated and filed for divorce, at that time I did not feel well at all emotionally, I was probably even depressed for a while and didn't quite know what to do with myself or my life.
One evening, I just got in the mood to listen to old music from my childhood and before so I searched on YouTube for ABBA and Queen, as I was browsing through the list of songs, a song called The Show Must Go On by Queen came up in the list and I listened to it, and I listened again and again and again. There was just something about that song that caught me! After a little while I realized there was a message in that song and decided to look it up on Wikipedia to learn more about the history around it because both the melody and lyrics were so powerful!
I kept listening to that song many times and kept analyzing it more and more in my mind, along with listening to more songs from Queen, songs that were less known than classics like Bohemian Rhapsody, We Will Rock You, Radio Gaga, Another One Bites The Dust and We Are The Champions which you hear on the radio most frequently.
I came across the song Who Wants To Live Forever, a song which pretty much brought me to tears because it's just so beautiful and more and more songs I listened to.
Slowly but surely something started to happen within me, I started to see the light again and I felt inspired, inspired to do things or at least try to, the feeling of hopelessness left me and I got back to life again in a sense.
It was also at this time of my life that my body had been deteriorating for a while, and the suspicions of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome had started to grow, I've always had symptoms of it, but it wasn't until 2010 that it began to affect my life full time. But even the prospect of having a genetic, incurable disease couldn't bring me down mentally when I had found the power of music!

Weeks went by, I continued to listen to the music, discovering more songs I had not heard before and diving deeper into the ones I really liked. It kept me going while battling increasingly worsening physical symptoms, keeping up at work became more and more difficult due to the amount of pain I was in and the level of fatigue I was battling constantly. But the music kept me going, I kept working for another half year before my boss finally called me into his office and I was laid off due to my health, at that time I was already in such a bad conditions I couldn't take another job, and I have not been able to work since. We're now in summer of 2011, the divorce from my husband was already history and I had pretty much moved on. Losing my job was a slap in the face of course, I loved my job, but at the same time I knew my boss was right, I could no longer do it.
But the music kept me going! It was like a guiding light for me and I had ideas and dreams that started to grow on me already in 2010 about things I'd like to do, much of it awareness projects for HIV/AIDS after I read about how Freddie had kept his condition a secret until the very end of his life, only very few people knew before that, that he had AIDS, I have to admit though, I'm still searching for a way to implement those ideas that I have, but hopefully one day, and hopefully those ideas will help end the stigma and make life better for those who live with HIV today...

Fast forward about a year, I had moved back to my hometown in Sweden due to it no longer being safe for me to live alone so far away from my family, after several episodes of almost passing out in the shower in Copenhagen from POTS (Postural Ortostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) or some other Dysautonomia, my parents had had it and wanted me home so they could easily come check on me if needed! Anyways, back in hometown, I finally got my diagnose of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, by the time I was diagnosed it was more of a relief than anything else to have it on paper, getting the diagnose did not bring me down emotionally, and then there's always the song, The Show Must Go On, and the show must go on- You can't just give up and kick the bucket or sit in a corner and pity yourself! You have to get out there and live your life to the fullest the best way you can! The show must go on, regardless of what life throws at you, you have to face it with a grin and do the best of the situation you're in.

Whenever I feel a bit down and need a pick me up, or just generally want to listen to great music, The Show Must Go On is my first choice when it comes to songs even to this day, almost 4.5 years later. It gives me the strength to handle my own health situation, it inspires me and makes me want to do good in this world. It remains my favorite song that has ever been written!

My Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome may be wrecking havoc with my body, but it can't touch my mind! I'm battling neck issues that may require stabilizing surgery in the future, chronic pain that would make a lot of people beg for mercy, joints that may slip out of place every so slightly even from a minor movement (my right SI joint is partially out as I'm typing this) and my photophobia (light sensitivity) has gotten significantly worse lately, now at the point where even a weak light will feel bright in my eyes and I've just had my eyes checked to start wearing contact lenses again so I can wear sunglasses as much as I need, I'm also planning on getting tinted prescription glasses so I can give my eyes a more comfortable light even when not wearing contact lenses, and I'm currently looking at different sunglasses as well as I only have one pair at the moment that I really like and those are sadly beginning to get pretty worn out as I've had them for many years.

But whatever EDS throws at me, I'll face it with a grin, I'm never giving in, on with the show!

The most amazing weekend ever!

My last post was written while sitting in an airplane 10000 meters above the ground somewhere over Germany.
Mum and I went to Kraków, Poland this past weekend. It was our first time visiting Poland, but definitely not the last! We had an amazing time in Kraków, even though we didn't have the possibility to go into the city anything, see, we went there to attend the Queen+Adam Lambert concert at Tauron Arena Kraków, and since I need my wheelchair to be out and about, and couldn't bring my wheelchair to the concert, we stayed in and around our hotel until it was time to go to the arena. We were staying at Hilton Garden Inn at Kraków Airport, and it is by far the best hotel I've ever stayed at! The staff were just amazing! So friendly and helpful, and it was very nice to just chitchat too when they had time. It being weekend meant the hotel wasn't very busy. I guess most people who went to Kraków for the concert stayed in the city closer to the arena. Mum and I choose the airport hotel simply because of our late arrival time and very early departure. We landed at 11:20pm (was supposed to land at 11:35pm so we were early) the evening before the concert, and then the morning after the concert, our flight home took off at 6:35am which meant needing to check in at the airport around 5am or so to get through security and such without stressing. By staying across the street from the terminal, we at least managed to get some rest in our hotel room after the concert, and we didn't need to find a taxi at like 4am.

So, the whole reason of traveling to Kraków: The concert!
OMG! Where do I start? It was pure epic, and so much emotions! I finally got to hear and see Queen live! Something I never thought I would get to experience! Brian and Roger were so amazing! Even at 60+ and over 40 years on stage, they were just glowing and were so full of energy, and you could see the joy in their faces, they truly love what they're doing!
And Adam Lambert! What an amazing live singer he is! That voice!

Some people think it's wrong of Brian and Roger to still call themselves Queen, and no one should sing Freddie's songs and so on. But as I say: Haters gonna hate... Unlike the haters, Brian and Roger owns the music they play, and if they still want to play live they should play live! Freddie is no longer with us, John made a choice to drop out after Freddie's passing, some claim he got severely depressed, others claim he just wanted to leave. I'm not going to speculate why he choose to leave Queen, but he did and it was his choice. I just hope he's doing well and is happy with his family!
Adam was asked to sing with Queen already by the time he won Idol, but hesitated for a long time before finally accepting. He never claims to be Freddie or trying to substitute for Freddie, he simply sings the songs and he does so in an epic manner with a voice even Freddie would be proud of, and Adam is a really good front man! Adam and Freddie are pretty similar in many ways, and if Freddie's spirit can see and hear the concerts now, he'd probably have some witty remark about Adam's voice range and totally approve of Adam singing with Queen. Queen can't really have a better singer than Adam, seeing Freddie is no longer with us!
Freddie may be gone, but he's definitely not forgotten! Adam is very grateful and humbled to sing the songs Freddie once sang, and the entire concert in a way felt like a celebration of Freddie's life and achievements, and the achievements of Queen as a band. Freddie is honored and remembered throughout the entire concert and even makes some guest appearances on the screen a few times.

I cried a lot during the concert. It was just so emotional to hear my favorite music ever, being played live by my biggest musical heroes walking this earth today!

The music of Queen has gotten me through rough times, inspired me and given me strength, and it still does all that. Brian and Roger are both amazing virtuoso, and I find that very inspiring, makes me want to dive into the music again, listen more, pick up my instruments again and try to improve my own skill some. Last night I took out my large keyboard again for the first time in over 3 years, and just played some randomly, just some melodies as I don't do chords or two hand playing (yet) and before I knew it, I was playing some parts from Bohemian Rhapsody, very very simplified, but still... Last time I played on my keyboard I couldn't play anything from that song!

And the thoughts of wanting to more for HIV/AIDS awareness and The Mercury Phoenix Trust grows on me more and more. I just need to find out what I can do, other than just blogging...

I really hope Queen+Adam will tour together more, and I sure hope there will be DVD's and CD's from this tour! If they tour nearby again mum and I will definitely go see them again, both of us are huge fans of Queen, Freddie and Adam!

Having seen Queen+Adam live this weekend is something I'll remember for life, and the only thing that could possibly top this would be a time machine to visit the 80's and attend one or more of the huge Queen concerts back in those days!

As an extra bonus when on the way to the runway on Sunday morning, I spotted Queen+Adam's private jet parked at the airport! The aircraft I was on drove right past it!

Sometime has to be the first!

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting on an airplane on my way to Kraków, Poland via Munich, Germany. I'm currently on the flight to Munich and typing this high up in the sky with my phone on flight mode and will post this blog post as soon as I can get onto a wifi network on the ground. This is my first time blogging from an airplane! 

Why I'm traveling to Kraków of all places? Well, mum and I are traveling to attend the Queen+Adam Lambert concert in Kraków tomorrow! 

So yes, we're flying down from Sweden to Poland just for a concert! It's amazing though! We're getting to see Queen+Adam Lambert preform live! Plus it's a nice little weekend getaway at the same time, none of us have been to Poland before, only dad has been to Poland before but he's only been to the northern part where the ferries from Sweden goes to. Now dad gets a nice peaceful weekend at home too as he has no interest in Queen! 

Looking out through the airplane window, I see the tiny little moon and some stars outside. It's so peaceful during the flight, I'm listening to music and looking out through the window, looking in the in-flight magazine and writing this post, while sipping on some tomato juice- my all time favorite in-flight beverage! Hydrates well all while it doesn't make you need to run to the loo, for those who are unaware, airplane lavatories are beyond tiny! I try to avoid them when I can, with my 5'8" or 173cm, I more or less hit my knees on the wall 😜

Now I shall continue listening to my music and just relax! Hopefully I can post this between my flights in Munich, or I'll try to post it at the hotel in Kraków! 

HIV doesn't just exist on World AIDS Day!

I do not live with the diagnose myself, but as a huge fan of Queen and Freddie Mercury, HIV is something that's very close to my heart. As most of you know, AIDS complications claimed Freddie's life in 1991, and apart from very few of his friends and family, no one knew about his condition until the day before he died. At the time, HIV was so surrounded by a lot of stigma and fear, in comparison to today, very little was known about the condition, the effective medicines had not yet been discovered- it came in 1996, at least here in Sweden.
At the time of Freddie's illness, HIV was a death sentence for a lot of people who tested positive, some were fortunate to survive until the modern medicines came, some of them are alive to this day and doing well!

Much has changed since those days, effective medicines are available today, more and more people who are HIV+ have access to the medicines, but still to this day, there are people who suffer in silence and keep their status a secret out of fear of how people around them will react. We had a case here not long ago, a famous singer, he kept his status secret for 10 years, not even his band members knew! He had no support, a heavy burden to carry and he'd hide his medicines, not take them on the right times and he'd be more ill than if he had been looking after himself better. A few years ago he came out, he's getting a lot of support from fans and the rest of the society and he's and doing better, taking his medicines properly and taking better care of himself.
I feel sad for him though, and for others in his situation. HIV isn't like the flu, it isn't airborne, you can't get HIV from giving someone a hug or being there for them. You don't get HIV+ from spreading awareness of the condition and educating yourself and people around you!

It is time to end the stigma once and for all! And it's time to raise more awareness! HIV/AIDS has one awareness day, December 1st is World AIDS Day! But yet, it's barely mentioned in media, you don't see TV channels go red for awareness like they do pink in October for breast cancer. You don't see the red ribbon or other awareness items being sold everywhere like you see pink ribbons and items. It's time for a change!

HIV doesn't care who you are, it doesn't care whether you're homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, asexual, man, woman, transgender, transexual, young or old, it doesn't care if you go to church every Sunday or if you are an IV drug addict living on the streets. Sure there are some ways of life that will increase your risk of contracting the virus, such as sharing needles, visiting tattoo parlors that aren't serious about hygiene, have sex with random people without using a condom and so on. But in the end, knowing your status and being aware and educated can get you a long way! Don't share needles, only go to serious tattoo parlors if you want to have a tattoo, use a condom if you have sex with a new partner, if you donate blood, make sure everything used is completely new and not reused, if you receive blood, make sure it's properly tested for any blood transmittable diseases.
Sadly, blood donation and transfusion is a way for the virus to spread, especially in poor areas of the world- it's one of the major causes of the infection in some poor areas of China for example.

HIV isn't a gay disease or an IV drug use disease, it's an issue everyone needs to be aware of and fight against!

HIV doesn't just exist on World AIDS Day! It exists every day! Don't be afraid to reach out to someone you know who is affected, or reach out to someone if you're affected yourself!

Now I shall get off my soapbox and keep listening to the most epic album ever made: Queen, Innuendo!

I am by no means religious, I am in fact an atheist, but this song is epic in many ways! It's from Queen's album Innuendo and was recorded just months before AIDS complications claimed Freddie's life, he was very sick at the time the album was recorded, yet he pulled it off brilliantly!




This is also a very good documentary from 1988 about the global impact of AIDS, it's well worth a watch and it's in English: Cross Over, The Global Impact Of AIDS