Stress at work, feeling down!

I posted this in my Facebook a few hours ago and thought I'd post it here as well.

I'm very happy about my job, but have been unfortunate enough to first be diagnosed with B12 deficiency a while ago and just a couple of months later I got this unexplainable abdominal pain. Obviously this has meant quite a lot of sick leave from work in the past few months. I was home on full time from late December until mid February and have since then worked 50% again.
Today I went home after just a couple of hours work. The reason I went home is completely unrelated to my sick leave. I was just driving the for me wrong kind of forklift. I get back, shoulder and neck pain from that kind of small forklift so I don't drive it normally, today I didn't have a choice and got all of the above mentioned pain plus that a disc in my upper back decided to lock- something which can be prevented completely if I drive my usual type of forklift.

A while ago I got a slightly annoyed SMS from my boss saying that I should report to him or the supply chain manager next time I go home. Well, I would have done that but seeing none of them were available at the time I just talked to my team leader. My boss also mentioned that my sick leave expired on the 17th of March and he expect me to be back on full time by April 1st. I have been in contact with my GP clinic, but my doctor didn't have phone appointment time until Friday this week, and I was in contact with the clinic last week already.
This whole mess just stresses me up completely. The pressure from my boss to get me back on full time just makes it feel like they want me to resign or something. I know they mean well and just wanting me back on full time, but there's a huge difference of what you want to do and what you can do. I WANT to just send this abdominal pain to hell, throw my painkillers to the moon, but all this misery behind me and get back to work on full time, but the reality looks different. I'm pretty much struggling through my 4 hours of work, get home with a headache from outer space most days along with increased abdominal pain, I simply CAN'T work much more than my current hours now even if I WANT to.

If I just COULD, I'd WANT to work 10 hours per day when needed!

My reality right now consists struggling through my 4 hours of work, constantly being under the influence of painkillers (Ketoprophen ER), and taking sleeping aid pills almost every evening! This is not the life I want to have. I can't even remember what it feels like to not be under the influence of painkillers and no pain, or the feeling of working an 8 hour shift.

Just because you normally like something...

Doesn't mean it always tastes good!

I'm not very picky with foods, I just don't eat fish or seafood or odd things (like snakes, bugs, dogs and such).

Anyways. I like tofu and I like green beans. But fermented green beans is just purely sickening, and so is tofu with some salted vegetable (which tastes like strong sea weed), I just can't handle that, it just tastes too bad!

Yesterday I had such an experience in the cafeteria at work. The lunch normally taste good, and I like both rice, beef and bamboo shots. But yesterday's lunch was the 3rd most horrible thing I've ever tasted! It was worse than the worst take-away box you can imagine! The beef was dry and swimming in water which tasted very strongly of bamboo shots which were overcooked, and the rice had some seasoning on top. For crying out loud, you DON'T put seasoning on rice before serving it!

I've cooked similar dishes at home and they always taste good. I like the combination but yesterday was just a MONDAY it seems... Needless to say, I only had a couple of sandwiches for lunch today as the main dish was fish and there were leftovers from yesterday as an option...

Bowling with workmates

Yesterday the employee social group or whatever you want to call it, had their annual Bowling tournament and dinner. It was my 2nd year attending and even though I was out of energy yesterday and would have preferred to stay at home, I did have a good time. My bowling was worse than ever due to feeling weak and tired, but nevertheless, I did play and managed 2 strike and 2 or 3 spare, bad for me but yeah. As I said to my lane buddies- it's the result of long time sick leave and constant pain and tiredness.

The dinner was just OK. It was an Italian buffet. I guess it was nice for people who like olives, pesto and smelly cheese. I hate olives, pesto and smelly cheese which pretty much left me with a few tomatoes and some lasagna and bread. I simply can't stand Parmesan cheese, how people can eat something like that is for me a mystery. It tastes worse than old socks smell! One of the only Italian cheese I like is Mozzarella, but the mozzarella yesterday was quite odd too. The dessert was just soso as well. I'm not a fan of Tiramisu at all. A vanilla panacotta would have been nicer and not as sickening sweet!

It was a nice evening anyways, despite feeling really tired. I got home again shortly after midnight and went to bed more or less instantly and slept all night.
My husband and I went out shopping today and when we came back home I slept again for like 3 hours. 9.40pm now and I think I'll be off to sleep shortly.

The conclusion: I'm not a fan of Italian food except for pizza, pasta and lasagna. And I'm in no fit condition for being up late or bowling!

Now I'm going to take my painkiller and minipill and then get ready to sleep!