Thoughts...

Well, as I'm starting to type this post, it has just passed 2am. What am I doing awake you may wonder. I'm in a way wondering myself. I think my current shoulder pain, elbow pain, wrist pain, ankle pain, back and neck pain just *may* play a part in me still being awake. Oh, and don't forget fingers that partly lock!

Things are really not that great at the moment. I keep going, and I stay positive so nothing bad there. It's just, I'm so low on energy and by that I don't say I sleep too little, I sleep as much as I need! It's body being tired. A day at work has gone from being a piece of cake, to being a daily struggle. Today my knees, especially left knee, has had its own life, being a bit like jello and just bending when least expecting it, making me almost loose balance quite a few times.

I went to physiotherapy again yesterday, and well, that just won't do it for me! It only took a couple of minutes of light exercise and my knee pain level got as bad as it can be after hours at work, and my left elbow locked in the middle of something! So physiotherapy is NOT for me!

My body is really in quite a downhill, and has been for the past couple of months. But whatever. I know I'm hypermobile and quite a lot too. The things happening to me doesn't really scare me, I just take it for what it is. I just know I won't be able to keep going at my current job for too much longer as it is physically demanding.

I have many things I'd like to do, or dream about doing in the future, all of which can be done from an office or even from home. Am I bitter about what my body is doing when I'm just 25? No, definitely not! I see it as a possibility to do things I wouldn't think of doing had everything been as it *should* be. Having to re-think things like I need to do now really feels like a new beginning, but not in a bad way.

I guess you could say it's a little bittersweet... I'll have to sooner or later give up a job I really like, but on the other hand, that will give me the possibility to study again if I wish to do so.

Now I should try to get some sleep I guess. 2:30am