Just a quick update...

I'm not doing great at the moment. I'm alive but that's about it...
I had the coil fitted a couple of weeks ago and have been in absolute hell most of the time since then. I get pain flares from outer space, and I'm constantly very fatigued. Have slept on the sofa many nights just because I'm too fatigued to move to my bed a couple of meters away and I'm simply knocked out by fatigue, falling asleep when least expecting it and then just taking the advantage to sleep when I actually can and not risk waking up completely by getting up if I wake up on the sofa during the night.

Back to when I had the coil fitted... It was meant to be a quick hospital visit, but ended up being a whole day in the ICU on very strong pain medicine both IV and subcutaneous and I was still in unbearable pain most of the time. I was unable to pee on my own due to the pain so had to be drained. When my flares are at its worst now, two weeks later, the pain is nearly as bad as it was that day in the ICU.

I'm waiting for an MRI of my neck, a referral has finally been sent now after asking for one for 5-6 months. Still need to lay down a lot due to the neck, have days where I can barely be upright at all due to the neck pain and accompanying cluster headaches. Wearing a rigid neck collar and taking strong painkillers can help some, but only when my neck is decent. When it's real bad, laying down is the only option. Some days are better than other.

Had a phone call this morning from my insurance person. She's going to send over the application form for applying disability. It's not something anyone chooses, but sometimes you have to bite the lemons and accept it...


Weight wise I couldn't care less! I already have really low appetite many days, and rarely have energy to cook "complicated" meals. Some days I only eat fruit, yogurt and maybe some chocolate because that's all I can cope with both appetite wise and energy wise.
I am the way I am, and look the way I look. I accept it as do my family and closest friends.

I'm taking a break from most things at the moment. Meditating, focusing on my well being and listening to my body. I'm not on social media as much as I used to be, nor do I carry my phone with me everywhere. I like my peace and quiet and only talk with very few people.

My only focus at the moment is to feel better physically, and I do all it takes to do so, be it by resting and/or taking medicines to manage my pain, using orthotics to support my joints when they're extra wobbly or painful, and using mobility aid when I'm outside.

Anyone wishing to criticize my way of living can just tell that to the wall behind the 2nd door to the right along the Yellowbrick road leading to I don't give a fuck town.

I don't know when I'll update my blog again, but I am alive, and I'm struggling to feel better physically. I'm not on computer, phone or pad much, and that's by choice.