Newtown, Connecticut and an outsider's view on the American gun laws.

Newtown, Connecticut, a town in USA I had not even heard the name of before today. And how I wish I had never heard that name on the news here in Sweden, and how I wish the tragedy there had never happened!
My heart and thoughts goes out to the victims and their families and friends, and to the survivors and their families and friends who'll have to live with the gruesome memories from this day.

One man, two handguns and a rifle, a total of 27 dead, including the gunman. It's such a tragedy it's hard to put words to it, and what's even worse is... It could all have been avoided!

I know there's a risk that many Americans will argue against me here, but so be it, you have to see this with the eyes of a non-American!

The American gun laws! While I do appreciate you have the right to protect your family and property from criminals, does that necessarily have to involve firearms? I know what you'll say here "but the criminals carry guns!", while yes, criminals carry guns, and you know why? BECAUSE THEY CAN LEGALLY OWN ONE!
The culture of basically being able to buy a gun in the shop around the corner, and being able to buy a pack of bullets together with your Tylenol is a recipe for disaster when criminals can get their hands on a gun as easily as anyone else. So what if the gun has to be registered in your name? A good person can turn bad anytime! There are so many examples of previously good citizens suddenly shooting wildly around them, maybe because they lost their job or a girlfriend broke up or something else that is only their business and shouldn't go out over innocent people just being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Where I live, in Sweden, guns are outlawed. Only the police carry guns and military and armed guards may of course carry firearms. Licensed hunters may own the rifle(s) they need for their hunting, and the rules for storage etc of firearms here is very strict. Make a mistake and you may lose your license! Because our firearms laws are so strict, shootings are relatively rare and massacres are unheard of within the borders of Sweden. While yes, shootings DOES happen, it's not common and when it does happen, the gunman has acquired the gun in illegal ways and the weapon just happened to slip through at the border, it was smuggled here! Most of the time shootings are gang related and only very rarely is the victim just an innocent citizen.
The only massacre classed shootings here in Scandinavia in recent years was the school massacre in Finland the other year, think it was 2-4 years ago something. And then, the most "famous" one of all: The massacre in Norway last year! And guess what? Only the gunman in Finland owned his gun legally!
Finland has more liberal gun laws than the rest of Scandinavia, and it's also the only country around here that has had school massacres!

Now think more than once before you might try to argue FOR guns.
If no one could own a gun legally, it would also mean less criminals are armed with a gun because they'd have to get hold of one through the black market and the black market would be more limited. Which in the long run means it's less likely that the criminal that is breaking into your house or trying to rob you, is carrying a gun. You stand a much better chance at defending yourself against someone carrying a knife or bat, than against someone who has a gun, no matter if you have a gun or not! And not to forget all the gun related accidents where people shoot themselves by accident because the gun wasn't secured!

America, it's 2012, almost 2013, your amendment about guns is really old by now, it's something from the days of the wild wild west when phones didn't even exist and the sheriff came riding on a horse!
This is the modern days, there's phones, cellphones, the police drive cars, patrol constantly and they can be at your house or location within seconds of you making that call to 911. You also have the SWAT teams that are even more highly trained than the regular police, and the SWAT can also mobilize faster than you can say Quiddich.

If guns were outlawed in America, you wouldn't need to worry so much about criminals carrying a gun, because they wouldn't be able to buy it in every street corner!

I'm 27 and have lived in Scandinavia all my life. Only once have I heard gunshots, and that was while I lived in a student dorm in Copenhagen, two bullets were fired pretty much just outside my bedroom window. No injuries and the gunman was found about a month later, dead, he had taken his own life a few blocks away. The reason of the shooting? The gunman tried and failed to kidnap his girlfriend. That's by the way also one of the very few crimes involving firearms that hasn't been gang related or an armed robbery that I've heard of  for many years, apart from the massacre in Finland and Norway.

I'd say I live in a safe country. I don't need to worry about having a gun poking my back as soon as I step outside the door or worry about an armed lunatic breaking into my home. During the one week I've visited America in the past, I constantly worried about guns, having a hotel room on the ground floor certainly didn't ease my mind!

Guns doesn't provide safety, guns are only dangerous!

I feel like a computer whiz!

It took me two years but I finally solved the issue with the internal microphone not working on laptop after upgrading to Windows 7! All you need to do is go to your computer manufacturer website, in my case Fujitsu Siemens and go to drivers downloads page, choose your computer model and download the drivers for Realtek high definition sound thingie. I did that, and now the microphone works again! Google failed me when googling for the answer, but I figured that downloading that driver might resolve the issue. All the advises on Google were only useful if the microphone actually existed on the list for sound devices, in my case the microphone didn't exist until I downloaded this driver.
Anyways, now I don't have to use headset for recording sounds or talking with people on my laptop!



I finally got my ring splints today as well! They're making a big difference already :) The appointment I was going to have this morning for the ring splints and making of wrist braces got cancelled though, the OT was home with a sick child... But I went to pick up the splints on my way to the other OT appointment I had today and I really have mixed feelings about that appointment, in a way, that appointment was just a waste of energy, along with triggering the absolutely awful headache I had yesterday and my neck is back to being as bad as it was in September, shortly after I injured it at the gym! Guess I won't be able to do much at all for some time, the neck pain is really too much to handle even with OxyContin giving some relief around the clock. The best way for me to deal with the neck pain is to rest it off as much as I can as in having support for head and neck when sitting and listen to my body when I'm up and about.

Having a nasty headache building up again from neck... Better put computer away for a bit...

First and definitely LAST time!

The appointment I had with the psychologist only happened because the psychologist is part of the team, and I dare say it was the first and definitely LAST time I'll see one! He got almost EVERYTHING wrong about me and is, against my will, going to write in his report that he recommends that I see a psychologist regularly even though I told him I have been offered to see one and decline it because I feel no need to see one. Had I felt the need to see one, I would have requested to do so! I shall complain about the psychologist to the OT and doctor of the team as I have those two appointments left before these team things finishes, and I will tell them both that I do not wish to have the psychologist's opinion anywhere in my documentations and if it is put in, I'll report him!

The only thing he got right about me is that I am frustrated and a bit sad at times, but who the hell wouldn't be frustrated when wanting to do so much but being stuck in a fucking disabled body?!

One of the things he got seriously wrong about me is that he said I'm very stressed. I'm NOT stressed AT ALL! The symptoms he said was stress is symptoms I've been having for many years, regardless of feeling stress or being on vacation feeling more relaxed than ever, it's Dysautonomia symptoms you bloody fucktard of a psychologist!

Seeing that idiot ruined my entire day. Not just did it waste a lot of energy to go there and sit at the appointment. I've spent the rest of the day fuming over how stupid the psychologist was! He should have his  brain checked dammit!
The only thing he did was ruining my day and pissing me off!

I want absolutely nothing to do with psychologists! Freudian scumbags!

Appointment two out of four just hours away...

My next evaluation team appointment is just hours away. Or well, I need to sleep a bit first and then at noon I have the appointment. Hopefully traveling and sitting at the appointment for up to two hours won't wreck me up this time. I do suspect part of the reason I ended up in the hospital on Tuesday was because of the appointment I had on Monday at the same place I'm going to later today. I write today because it's 2:20am as I'm typing this...

Also got a much awaited letter with the post yesterday (Thursday). I have an appointment to try out the wheelchair on December 10th! Feels a bit like an early Christmas present seeing having the chair will give me a part of my life back! I'm really fed up with not being able to be out as much as I'd like or feeling terrified about going anywhere that requires standing and walking or sitting on "wrong" chairs for too long. The cushion in the wheelchair will be tried out especially for me to fit my needs, it will be some kind of cushion that prevents pain from pressure, that's all I know now. It should enable me to get around better and sit more comfortably anyways. Not looking forward to people staring at me when I'm actually in the wheelchair, but heck, I live in a small town so once everyone has asked me about it once, I won't have to explain myself a million and one times again when suddenly getting out of the wheelchair to either get something from a higher shelf or walk a bit.

I should try to sleep now and hope insomnia isn't kicking my ass tonight again. I need to get up in about 6 hours to have breakfast and get ready to go to my appointment.

Not been feeling great...

I've been quiet for some days, and not without a reason. I haven't been on computer all that much. Haven't been feeling well at all. More pain and fatigue than usual.
Night to yesterday was pretty much sleepless because of severe back pain, back pain in another part of my back than I'm used to, and worse than my usual back pain, feared it could be an issue with a disc so went to ER for a checkup yesterday. I spent 6 hours in the hospital, having doctors knock on my back, test my sensation in arms and legs and X-rays were taken. Fortunately my X-rays were fine, but the ER doctors decided to deal with what my own doctor has ignored for a long time now- My chronic pain!
I have now been put on OxyContin twice daily, a low dose to begin with and a small box to try to see if it works at all and if the dose is enough, then I am to call my usual doctor to discuss if it's working or not and if the dose is enough to have me covered. This way I should be feeling generally better as I have less pain to deal with on a daily basis, and I can save my OxyNorm (our brand name of rapid acting Oxycodone) to breakthrough pain.
I must say, I do feel a bit better already and my parents has noticed a difference in me today as well. OxyContin seem to be my magic blue pill (NOT Viagra lol Just OxyContin is blue as well). Not sure if the dose is right yet, but time will tell. A small difference to the better makes a huge difference to my quality of life anyways. Having had to deal with less pain today definitely gave me a bit more energy! I'm not pain free, nor do I expect to be. But having a proper pain management is really important to be able to cope! The weekly grocery shopping with my parents wasn't as exhausting today as it tends to be, and I wasn't in as much pain afterwards as I use to either, so OxyContin has definitely made me a bit better already!

Currently seeing an evaluation team consisting of physiotherapist, psychologist, occupational therapist and a doctor working as a team at a clinic about 50km away from my town. They have EDS experience and will help writing my diagnose in stone so to say. I saw the physiotherapist on Monday and she said I'm very hypermobile and kinda freaked out when the bones in my hands moved under her fingers from just a gentle touch, and she was amazed by my velvety soft skin on my hands, especially when I told her how much physical jobs I've been doing over 10 years time. A "normal" person would be covered in callouses! Showed her some scars and stretch marks as well and we talked about my life in general, pain situation, fatigue etc From her experience and point of view, I definitely have EDS. Seeing the team psychologist on Friday (first time ever seeing one btw), team occupational therapist on Tuesday after I've seen the other occupational therapist to get my ring splints and custom made wrist braces, and on the 26th I'll be seeing the team doctor. Pretty busy times ahead and once all those appointments are done, I'll have traveled 400km or 250 miles in total for those appointments. Not the best for someone living with chronic pain but if it can help in the long run, it will be worth it. I have the diagnose on paper already, but my doctor wants to make sure it isn't a worse type than hypermobility type I'm up against so he's sent me to more experienced people.

Now I should catch some sleep. Need to wake up on time to take my morning dose of OxyContin and then get on with my day.

Nearly weekend again

Haven't had the best of days these past few days due to my back giving in on Saturday but I am getting a bit better as time goes. It was most definitely not a lumbago I got as mine sound when I get them and cripples me for days. This on Saturday was soundless when it happened, something popped right when I laid down and I've recovered too fast, even a couple of nurses agreed I most likely subluxed something in my lower back, either a disc or vertebrae or SI joint.

I had my OT visiting on Tuesday to fit a higher seat for the toilet, with armrests and now after a couple of days of using it, I've found that the armrests and increased height helps a lot when sitting down and getting up. My OT also took measurements for the wheelchair and I'll go to the aid center as soon as possible to try one out, waiting for the appointment letter now. Should be a lot easier to go outside more independently and further once I get the chair, not having to take the car all the time. I'll not use the chair all the time, just for times when I know I'd be on my feet a lot and/or I'm in too much pain and fatigue to walk and stand. Might also use it as an alternative to restaurant chairs when going out to eat as those are most often worse than awful to sit on for more than 5 minutes. Which reminds me, we're going out to eat lunch on Sunday because it's Father's day here in Sweden. The restaurant we're going to have absolutely awful chairs to sit on! Last time we went, I was in agony the whole time we sat there, but we're going there now anyways because it's a nice restaurant. Going to ask if they have other chairs on Sunday and I will bring all my cushions to be a bit more comfortable.

Have found a couple of great friends in these past few days as well :) One from Texas and the other from Belgium!

I haven't slept well this week, even though I've taken painkillers at least for the night. I even followed the American election live on CNN international until shortly after they announced President Obama was the projected winner, which was shortly after 5am my time! Insomnia has been bad this week, but oh well. I'll try to sleep soon now and hopefully sleep better tonight. My parents and I are invited to a couple of family friends tomorrow afternoon, going to dine together and sit and chitchat at our friends house, should be really nice :) On Saturday we're going to have another friend couple coming over to my parents place and that should be a lot of fun as well, I'll do my best in the kitchen on Saturday and just hope I don't get any more back injuries while cooking! Mum has already said I am not to take anything out of the oven any longer... But there's other things I can do in the kitchen so I'll just do that instead and I really don't care if I have to take painkillers to do it or not, I will do it!

Think I'll pop a sleeping aid now and shut down computer for the night. I sure need to sleep!

Concert

I don't normally blog from my phone but I've just been too tired since I came home from the concert I haven't really been on computer. The concert was absolutely epic! It was a tribute show for The Beatles, Elvis, Abba and Queen and all the singers and the band were brilliant! The guy singing Queen songs had a great voice and a voice range Freddie would have been proud to hear sing his songs! It was very emotional to hear Queen songs performed by a voice so alike Freddie's. Both mum and I shed some tears over it and I had goose bumps when he sang The show must go on. I think it would have sounded like that if Freddie had got to sing it live any time. We also got some really good news, this guy singing Queen songs is coming back to that concert hall in March with his own band, to do a Queen only concert! Mum and I will book tickets next week when they're being released!

While at the concert I was in pain but I had a really good time anyways. Have barely left bed since I came home but have at least managed without taking more meds since before the concert so I see that as a positive. Neck is being a nasty bugger now as well, but it's helping to just lay down in bed, the increased neck pain is a direct result of sitting at the concert without enough neck and head support, but it was worth it.

Still going to call my clinic tomorrow to let my doctor know about my spine, something really happened to it yesterday! Just such a relief it has been feeling a bit better today and I have been able to walk a bit better. Yesterday I really couldn't walk, I just had to try because I had no other way of moving.

Too tired now and Nisse the cat wants a cuddle from me.