I feel like a computer whiz!

It took me two years but I finally solved the issue with the internal microphone not working on laptop after upgrading to Windows 7! All you need to do is go to your computer manufacturer website, in my case Fujitsu Siemens and go to drivers downloads page, choose your computer model and download the drivers for Realtek high definition sound thingie. I did that, and now the microphone works again! Google failed me when googling for the answer, but I figured that downloading that driver might resolve the issue. All the advises on Google were only useful if the microphone actually existed on the list for sound devices, in my case the microphone didn't exist until I downloaded this driver.
Anyways, now I don't have to use headset for recording sounds or talking with people on my laptop!



I finally got my ring splints today as well! They're making a big difference already :) The appointment I was going to have this morning for the ring splints and making of wrist braces got cancelled though, the OT was home with a sick child... But I went to pick up the splints on my way to the other OT appointment I had today and I really have mixed feelings about that appointment, in a way, that appointment was just a waste of energy, along with triggering the absolutely awful headache I had yesterday and my neck is back to being as bad as it was in September, shortly after I injured it at the gym! Guess I won't be able to do much at all for some time, the neck pain is really too much to handle even with OxyContin giving some relief around the clock. The best way for me to deal with the neck pain is to rest it off as much as I can as in having support for head and neck when sitting and listen to my body when I'm up and about.

Having a nasty headache building up again from neck... Better put computer away for a bit...

First and definitely LAST time!

The appointment I had with the psychologist only happened because the psychologist is part of the team, and I dare say it was the first and definitely LAST time I'll see one! He got almost EVERYTHING wrong about me and is, against my will, going to write in his report that he recommends that I see a psychologist regularly even though I told him I have been offered to see one and decline it because I feel no need to see one. Had I felt the need to see one, I would have requested to do so! I shall complain about the psychologist to the OT and doctor of the team as I have those two appointments left before these team things finishes, and I will tell them both that I do not wish to have the psychologist's opinion anywhere in my documentations and if it is put in, I'll report him!

The only thing he got right about me is that I am frustrated and a bit sad at times, but who the hell wouldn't be frustrated when wanting to do so much but being stuck in a fucking disabled body?!

One of the things he got seriously wrong about me is that he said I'm very stressed. I'm NOT stressed AT ALL! The symptoms he said was stress is symptoms I've been having for many years, regardless of feeling stress or being on vacation feeling more relaxed than ever, it's Dysautonomia symptoms you bloody fucktard of a psychologist!

Seeing that idiot ruined my entire day. Not just did it waste a lot of energy to go there and sit at the appointment. I've spent the rest of the day fuming over how stupid the psychologist was! He should have his  brain checked dammit!
The only thing he did was ruining my day and pissing me off!

I want absolutely nothing to do with psychologists! Freudian scumbags!

Appointment two out of four just hours away...

My next evaluation team appointment is just hours away. Or well, I need to sleep a bit first and then at noon I have the appointment. Hopefully traveling and sitting at the appointment for up to two hours won't wreck me up this time. I do suspect part of the reason I ended up in the hospital on Tuesday was because of the appointment I had on Monday at the same place I'm going to later today. I write today because it's 2:20am as I'm typing this...

Also got a much awaited letter with the post yesterday (Thursday). I have an appointment to try out the wheelchair on December 10th! Feels a bit like an early Christmas present seeing having the chair will give me a part of my life back! I'm really fed up with not being able to be out as much as I'd like or feeling terrified about going anywhere that requires standing and walking or sitting on "wrong" chairs for too long. The cushion in the wheelchair will be tried out especially for me to fit my needs, it will be some kind of cushion that prevents pain from pressure, that's all I know now. It should enable me to get around better and sit more comfortably anyways. Not looking forward to people staring at me when I'm actually in the wheelchair, but heck, I live in a small town so once everyone has asked me about it once, I won't have to explain myself a million and one times again when suddenly getting out of the wheelchair to either get something from a higher shelf or walk a bit.

I should try to sleep now and hope insomnia isn't kicking my ass tonight again. I need to get up in about 6 hours to have breakfast and get ready to go to my appointment.

Not been feeling great...

I've been quiet for some days, and not without a reason. I haven't been on computer all that much. Haven't been feeling well at all. More pain and fatigue than usual.
Night to yesterday was pretty much sleepless because of severe back pain, back pain in another part of my back than I'm used to, and worse than my usual back pain, feared it could be an issue with a disc so went to ER for a checkup yesterday. I spent 6 hours in the hospital, having doctors knock on my back, test my sensation in arms and legs and X-rays were taken. Fortunately my X-rays were fine, but the ER doctors decided to deal with what my own doctor has ignored for a long time now- My chronic pain!
I have now been put on OxyContin twice daily, a low dose to begin with and a small box to try to see if it works at all and if the dose is enough, then I am to call my usual doctor to discuss if it's working or not and if the dose is enough to have me covered. This way I should be feeling generally better as I have less pain to deal with on a daily basis, and I can save my OxyNorm (our brand name of rapid acting Oxycodone) to breakthrough pain.
I must say, I do feel a bit better already and my parents has noticed a difference in me today as well. OxyContin seem to be my magic blue pill (NOT Viagra lol Just OxyContin is blue as well). Not sure if the dose is right yet, but time will tell. A small difference to the better makes a huge difference to my quality of life anyways. Having had to deal with less pain today definitely gave me a bit more energy! I'm not pain free, nor do I expect to be. But having a proper pain management is really important to be able to cope! The weekly grocery shopping with my parents wasn't as exhausting today as it tends to be, and I wasn't in as much pain afterwards as I use to either, so OxyContin has definitely made me a bit better already!

Currently seeing an evaluation team consisting of physiotherapist, psychologist, occupational therapist and a doctor working as a team at a clinic about 50km away from my town. They have EDS experience and will help writing my diagnose in stone so to say. I saw the physiotherapist on Monday and she said I'm very hypermobile and kinda freaked out when the bones in my hands moved under her fingers from just a gentle touch, and she was amazed by my velvety soft skin on my hands, especially when I told her how much physical jobs I've been doing over 10 years time. A "normal" person would be covered in callouses! Showed her some scars and stretch marks as well and we talked about my life in general, pain situation, fatigue etc From her experience and point of view, I definitely have EDS. Seeing the team psychologist on Friday (first time ever seeing one btw), team occupational therapist on Tuesday after I've seen the other occupational therapist to get my ring splints and custom made wrist braces, and on the 26th I'll be seeing the team doctor. Pretty busy times ahead and once all those appointments are done, I'll have traveled 400km or 250 miles in total for those appointments. Not the best for someone living with chronic pain but if it can help in the long run, it will be worth it. I have the diagnose on paper already, but my doctor wants to make sure it isn't a worse type than hypermobility type I'm up against so he's sent me to more experienced people.

Now I should catch some sleep. Need to wake up on time to take my morning dose of OxyContin and then get on with my day.

Nearly weekend again

Haven't had the best of days these past few days due to my back giving in on Saturday but I am getting a bit better as time goes. It was most definitely not a lumbago I got as mine sound when I get them and cripples me for days. This on Saturday was soundless when it happened, something popped right when I laid down and I've recovered too fast, even a couple of nurses agreed I most likely subluxed something in my lower back, either a disc or vertebrae or SI joint.

I had my OT visiting on Tuesday to fit a higher seat for the toilet, with armrests and now after a couple of days of using it, I've found that the armrests and increased height helps a lot when sitting down and getting up. My OT also took measurements for the wheelchair and I'll go to the aid center as soon as possible to try one out, waiting for the appointment letter now. Should be a lot easier to go outside more independently and further once I get the chair, not having to take the car all the time. I'll not use the chair all the time, just for times when I know I'd be on my feet a lot and/or I'm in too much pain and fatigue to walk and stand. Might also use it as an alternative to restaurant chairs when going out to eat as those are most often worse than awful to sit on for more than 5 minutes. Which reminds me, we're going out to eat lunch on Sunday because it's Father's day here in Sweden. The restaurant we're going to have absolutely awful chairs to sit on! Last time we went, I was in agony the whole time we sat there, but we're going there now anyways because it's a nice restaurant. Going to ask if they have other chairs on Sunday and I will bring all my cushions to be a bit more comfortable.

Have found a couple of great friends in these past few days as well :) One from Texas and the other from Belgium!

I haven't slept well this week, even though I've taken painkillers at least for the night. I even followed the American election live on CNN international until shortly after they announced President Obama was the projected winner, which was shortly after 5am my time! Insomnia has been bad this week, but oh well. I'll try to sleep soon now and hopefully sleep better tonight. My parents and I are invited to a couple of family friends tomorrow afternoon, going to dine together and sit and chitchat at our friends house, should be really nice :) On Saturday we're going to have another friend couple coming over to my parents place and that should be a lot of fun as well, I'll do my best in the kitchen on Saturday and just hope I don't get any more back injuries while cooking! Mum has already said I am not to take anything out of the oven any longer... But there's other things I can do in the kitchen so I'll just do that instead and I really don't care if I have to take painkillers to do it or not, I will do it!

Think I'll pop a sleeping aid now and shut down computer for the night. I sure need to sleep!

Concert

I don't normally blog from my phone but I've just been too tired since I came home from the concert I haven't really been on computer. The concert was absolutely epic! It was a tribute show for The Beatles, Elvis, Abba and Queen and all the singers and the band were brilliant! The guy singing Queen songs had a great voice and a voice range Freddie would have been proud to hear sing his songs! It was very emotional to hear Queen songs performed by a voice so alike Freddie's. Both mum and I shed some tears over it and I had goose bumps when he sang The show must go on. I think it would have sounded like that if Freddie had got to sing it live any time. We also got some really good news, this guy singing Queen songs is coming back to that concert hall in March with his own band, to do a Queen only concert! Mum and I will book tickets next week when they're being released!

While at the concert I was in pain but I had a really good time anyways. Have barely left bed since I came home but have at least managed without taking more meds since before the concert so I see that as a positive. Neck is being a nasty bugger now as well, but it's helping to just lay down in bed, the increased neck pain is a direct result of sitting at the concert without enough neck and head support, but it was worth it.

Still going to call my clinic tomorrow to let my doctor know about my spine, something really happened to it yesterday! Just such a relief it has been feeling a bit better today and I have been able to walk a bit better. Yesterday I really couldn't walk, I just had to try because I had no other way of moving.

Too tired now and Nisse the cat wants a cuddle from me.

Not a good day!

Or well, the day started okay enough... It wasn't until the late afternoon the day took a nasty turn from okayish day to outright nasty! I was going to help mum take a roast out of the oven and as I had gotten a good grip of the pot it was in, my lumbar spine either had a sublux or a really bad lumbago! I very nearly dropped the roast but somehow managed to put it on the stove at least, my whole body froze from the pain in my back and I was speaking fluent profanity for a while, while tears were streaming down my face. It took several minutes before I could move at all, and then it took several more minutes to get from the stove to the sink like 3ft away. Mum came with my crutches and then it took probably 10-15 minutes to get from the kitchen to the bedroom just a few meters away. Mum nearly had to call for an ambulance as I was standing there in the kitchen, unable to move from the pain, but fortunately I had brought enough painkillers along today and took my entire daily dose in just a couple of hours, and after resting in bed for about 2 hours and having all the painkillers kick in, I managed to get up and slowly get into the living room on crutches to join my parents and our guests when it was time to have dinner.
Have since taken another half days worth of painkillers (my total daily dose is way below the max dose for the substance so I didn't overdose) and a slow release diclofenac and 1000mg paracetamol to further help the Oxycodone and to hopefully have some coverage from the diclofenac (if it works at all) overnight.
Even though I did not go to hospital in an ambulance, going to the hospital was still considered for a few hours but I later decided that it would have taken too much energy and caused too much pain to go since all they would have done would be to possibly give me morphine for the pain and maybe diazepam to relax my muscles. I had already taken both, just Oxycodone instead of Morphine and another muscle relaxant instead of diazepam.
The pain in my back today was a 12 on a scale that only goes to 10, after 20mg Oxycodone and 500mg of my muscle relaxant the pain went down to 8 so I was still in agony, but at least feeling somewhat better.
My walking ability is close to zero even with crutches, my legs are locked from the back pain and while standing in the kitchen just after my back popped, I very nearly passed out from the pain.
I'll be making a phone call to my clinic on Monday to let them know about this, tell them I've been needing to use a lot more Oxycodone than normal due to severe pain, and yet again bring up the patches as I really really need something working in the background to have less breakthrough pain and less severe breakthrough pain. And I'll tell them to hurry up with that wheelchair! I really can not use my legs much at all! And while yes, sitting hurts when my back is like this, in a wheelchair I'd at least be able to go from point A to point B more safely, with a bit less discomfort and my parents would be able to help me move from A to B!
I'm still in quite a bit of pain now, even with having taken much more painkillers than what's normal for me. This pain today was some serious shit!
I think I had a sublux in my lumbar spine considering something popped back into place once I finally made it into the bedroom and laid down on the bed. When I get a lumbago, my spine doesn't pop back into place afterwards.

I expect to be on high doses of painkillers tomorrow as well, or well, today as it's 3:30am as I'm typing this. I have a concert to attend tonight and I'm NOT going to let anything stop me from going!

I should try to sleep now, despite my spine doing its best trying to kill me. I'm not looking forward to waking up in the morning, knowing the Oxycodone will have worn off so the pain may be back with full force! My only hope is that the extended release Diclofenac will help at all and can take the worst edge off from the pain still when waking up.

The little I've had to be out of bed since I got back home, I've gotten around with the help of my walking stick. It's not great to walk with, but easier to have next to me than the crutches...

Is it really too much to ask for to get to feel like 27 when I AM 27? :'(

Quite the day...

I didn't fall asleep until well past 6am this morning, kept waking up many times until finally giving up sleep at around noon. Went to parents place and helped dad with some computer stuff and then helping out a bit with cooking dinner. Succeeded with the computer stuff after dinner and then headed out to the kitchen and baked a couple of cakes. Can't say I had the energy to bake cakes but anyways, I did it.
Watched some TV with parents after baking before going back home.
Managed all this today thanks to taking my meds. At the moment I have taken my prescribed max dose of Oxycodone, and yet I'm awake and functioning, just in a lot less pain than I would be if I had not taken meds. I'm not pain free, nor do I expect to be, but just having some relief is great right now.
It's nearly 4:30am now so should try to sleep very soon. Hopefully I'll sleep more than I did last night...