Just don't know anymore...

There's so much inside that I'd need to just let out at the moment but no one would understand and I'm not sure I'm ready to tell the whole internet... To put it simple: I'm emotionally and physically drained! And I'm crying as I type this... I haven't smiled in over a month, my laugh is hollow if I laugh at all. I don't feel depressed but I think the poor weather, darkness and the fact of reality about my condition is affecting me, making me weak emotionally. I'm isolating myself from friends, not because I don't want to hang out with them, but because I don't have the energy physically or emotionally to be around people IRL much. I only really socialize with my parents in person at the moment... The meeting on Thursday is stressing me up a lot. Not just because of the time of day it's held, but because it's a very important meeting... I don't even want to talk about it more now, but will need to prepare a lot for it.