Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Life of an insomniac

Another night, a night with no sleep of course. It's yet again the wee hours of the morning and here I am, unable to fall asleep! I've lost count on how many nights just this year that I've still been awake by 5am or after, it's currently 5:30am as I'm typing this, go figure, my mum is getting up about this time to go to work and I'm not even asleep yet.
I'm tired of being tired and even more tired of never getting to sleep at normal hours, maybe I should just move to America so I'd fall asleep at normal hours, but then most likely insomnia would catch up with me and I'd be awake all night again having to go further and further west until coming back home again and still not sleeping at night.
I should be sleeping like a stone now, had a busy day and felt physically drained when I came home, but of course I can't sleep, my mind is wide awake and can't shut the fuck up! Thoughts are all over the place, spinning like a washing machine in spin cycle.
I have zopiclone at home, but don't want to take it because of the risk of getting stuck on it. I know the risk is extremely low for me since I never get addicted to anything but I still prefer real sleep instead of pill sleep. I do however take propiomazine in the evenings but it only helps me sleep better if and when I fall asleep.
Have spent the last few hours listening to relaxing classical music but it hasn't helped me fall asleep. My mind is still buzzing with random thoughts that are completely irrelevant at this time of the morning or night or whatever you want to call it.
It's getting light outside now, soon it will be full daylight which of course will make the quality of sleep worse as one rest best in darkness and there's more going on outside and around in daytime which also makes quality of sleep lower...

I really want to sleep now! Be it pill sleep if I must...
Feeling foggy from fatigue but yeah... I should put phone down and see if I'm more lucky sleep wise now than before...

1 comment:

  1. have you tried amber glasses? they block out blue light. i thought it sounded, i don't know, far fetched or silly but it's actually one of the only things that has finally helped me sleep! i have non-24 hour sleep-wake circadian rhythm sleep disorder which means i rarely sleep at the correct time either. in fact, i'm up right now because i broke my pair! if you haven't already, you might want to look into them. i also take LOW doses of melatonin. 3-5mg doses make me feel high or just flat out don't work but 250mcg helps quiet my brain enough for me to sleep!

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